Laughter is the best medicine

Published: 11:52, 29 March 2020

Schools are shutting down, stocks are plummeting, and healthcare workers are scrambling to deal with a shortage of beds.

It’s no wonder coronavirus has us anxious and worried. So here is a momentary distraction to lift our spirits – some of my favourite gin funnies.

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’ve had too much gin.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing the lawn. I figured he’ll just have to mow around me, I’m not moving.
I drink too much gin. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.
Don’t get me wrong, sliced bread was a great invention. But it doesn’t go nearly as well with tonic.
Late nights and alcohol is not the answer. Unless of course you’re asking what I’m doing this weekend.
It’s strange how drinking eight glasses of water a day seems impossible, but eight glasses of gin at a tasting go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw.
I’ve never been in love. But I imagine it must be similar to the feeling I get when I see the barman coming towards me with my gin and tonic.
I love it when the gin and tonic is so cold it could start singing Let it Go.
As I’ve got older I’ve learned that you really don’t need to have fun to drink alcohol.
Drink gin! It’s God’s way of making your friends interesting.
If at first you don’t succeed, try try try a gin.
Whoever it was invented yoga, I thank you. Drinking gin in yoga pants is my very favourite thing.
I will not be impressed by iPhones until they can download gin.
Unfortunately, my daydreams about losing weight are often interrupted by the sound of me slurping my G&T.

See www.ginclubscotland.com for a selection of comedy cards and coasters to raise a smile when the chips are down.

Chrissie Fairclough is tastings director for Gin Club Scotland, which runs touring and distillery-based tastings, as well as offering tasting kits for people to run their own events. www.ginclubscotland.com