Highland-based members of the LGBTQ+ community come together for a round table discussion in Inverness for History Month

To mark LGBT+ History Month 2025, The Inverness Courier invited a handful of community members from different generations to sit down together and speak about their experiences.

A range of topics were discussed at Xoko in the Highland capital, from coming out and school experiences to the challenges currently facing the LGBTQ+ community and why inter-generational conversations are important.

Hosted by Highland News and Media journalist Andrew Henderson, taking part in the discussion were 18-year-old young makar Ró Ó Headhra, who is non-binary; 30-year-old Gavin Hosie and 50-year-old Simon Allison, who are both gay men on the Highland Pride committee; and 79-year-old Julia Gordon, who facilitated a trans support group and produced The Tartan Skirt magazine.

With a range of ages and identities in the room, everyone had different perspectives on some of the universal topics relating to the LGBTQ+ community – as seen early on with the discussion focused around coming out.

“Coming out for me, at that time, was very uncertain,” Simon said.

“I actually come out all the time now, and that’s something that I don’t think many people realise. You come out every time you meet somebody new potentially, and in a work context that can be quite a do or die moment.”

Julia said: “When I was coming out, I think times were very different. The consequences of coming out were much more serious - you could lose your job, and it was okay for people to physically and verbally abuse you in the street - so you really only came out to people you felt safe with.

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“There was almost a defiance that was necessary, because the world around you didn’t really want you to come out. In those days, I think you needed to draw on a lot more courage. It’s not that folk coming out today don’t have courage, but there maybe isn’t the same requirement to steel yourself, and that’s great.”

Ró continued: “I often feel like I try to do everything in my power to make it visible to people so that I don’t have to explicitly say I am non-binary.

“It’s not that I don’t want to say it, I am very proud of my identity, but in a world where straight, cis people don’t have to say that because it’s the automatically assumed thing, it makes me wonder why I have to come out.

“In the future hopefully people won’t have to come out, because straight and cis won’t be what is automatically assumed.”

Gavin added: “I remember the first time that I met someone at a new job who asked about my partner, and gave me the option to say if they were a man or a woman. That was a really nice experience that the other person, who isn’t even part of the LGBTQ+ community, had the foresight to think about.”

The conversation then moved on to experiences at school, again raising some different perspectives.

The youngest of the group, Ró, started off: “I actually had a very positive schooling experience, which I know is quite unique for a lot of people in general but particularly LGBTQ+ people.

“I also had close friends who were very supportive and in the community as well. Us being able to express our identities was so wonderful, because if that wasn’t the case I’m sure things would have been very different for me and people like me.”

Julia, on the other hand, contributed: “I remember always being aware that I was different, but when I was at school we didn’t know what different was.

“That’s how much it has changed. Entering life after school, you still didn’t know who you were. That was a continuation of my confusing journey.”

Simon continued: “I was at school when Section 28 was introduced, and in fact school wasn’t terribly supportive of being LGBTQ+ beforehand.

“I was actually bullied by one teacher who made it okay for other people to bully me for the same reason, and assigned words to me that I wouldn’t have used to describe myself, or anyone else, with.

“I really love hearing young people talk about their school experience now though, and I’m particularly excited about my nephew who is going through school down in England and having a very different experience.”

Gavin added: “There weren’t really any openly LGBTQ+ people in our school at all when I was there, which I think is why I delayed my coming out.

“About five years after I left, I was walking past and I could see a Pride flag hanging in the common room window, which I could never have see when I was there without it being torn down, or whoever put it up being ridiculed.

“In the last 10 years or so there has probably been a lot of positive change within schools, but with LGBT+ History Month there was never a celebration of it in my time at school through the teaching or anything. It seems more positive now.”

Although school can be a difficult time for many LGBTQ+ young people, the conversation came to a close with some reflections on what everyone enjoyed about being part of the community.

“I think connection is such an important part of the human spirit,” Julia said.

“Possibly, the LGBTQ+ community appreciate that feeling of connection more, because so often it has been denied to us.”

In a similar vein, Simon continued: “I think connecting properly with community is perhaps one of our superpowers, one of the things that we’ve been given - our last grain of hope left in the box.

“It has been an extraordinary gift over time. The community is at its best when it calls for each of us to be at our best, and it’s that feeling of being around your people and being completely present.”

Gavin said: “Variety is the spice of life, and being part of the LGBTQ+ community means that standards and expectations are broken. People are allowed to express themselves in different ways.

“I can’t say that I have never wished I wasn’t gay, but now I definitely don’t.”

Ró also added: “I personally love every part of being queer and being who I am. I also find it almost strange when some people would say ‘I wish I wasn’t trans or gay’. Why would you wish that? It’s a wonderful thing to be who you are.

“If I’m going to be perceived as different anyway, why not just embrace that and do what I want? It takes that fear away, and I don’t feel subscribed to certain ways of life that cis or straight people might feel they are. It’s just who I am. There’s nothing else to say.”

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