Nairn summer treasure hunt set to raise awareness and funds for baby loss charity Held in Our Hearts in memory of daughter
A Nairn family is honouring the memory of their daughter by launching an event to raise funds for charity and awareness on baby loss.
Amelia’s Treasure Quest is set to take place over the next school summer holidays, and will mark five years from her death caused by a rare condition.
The initiative will raise money for Held in Our Hearts, whose support has been vital for Amelia’s mum, Cora-Leigh Thompson, who said that, coming up to this fifth anniversary, she found herself struggling before getting help from the charity.
“I always knew about Held in Our Hearts, but maybe I thought it wasn't for me, or I was too late in the game, too far into my grieving process,” she said.
“I thought, ‘I should be right now’. I should be able to get on with things, but there are some days that just hit you, and it just overcomes you, and that's where it's good having somebody else that you can lean on.”
It was 2019 when she and her husband Matt discovered that they were pregnant, just before going on their honeymoon. Everything looked perfect, and even after their 19-week scan, it looked as if everything was going well.
Then, when Cora’s sister, who was also pregnant, experienced complications in childbirth, she was advised to speak with a consultant.
“It was at that meeting that we found out that I was actually quite ill,” Cora explained.
“Nothing was picked up at previous scans. So we didn't know what was wrong with Amelia at the time. We were both very ill.”
At 21 weeks, she was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia — a serious pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure and protein in the urine, usually occurring after 20 weeks of pregnancy — and was hospitalized for some time.
“We were told there was a 90 per cent chance that she would pass away. We knew the stakes were obviously high, but we were trying to get to 24 weeks, to deliver her in Glasgow or Aberdeen.”
But then, the day after she was discharged, something didn’t feel right.
“At just over 23 weeks, I felt that she had actually passed away,” she said.
She realised she wasn’t moving anymore, but told herself that it was because she was still so small. When she went to the hospital, after four nurses tried to find a heartbeat, she was told that Amelia didn’t make it.
“We were sent out for a scan. I was by myself, I had told Matt to go to work that day, and it was just before lockdown. A midwife took me out for the scan, and she stayed with me the whole time, held my hand, and obviously we were told that her heart had stopped. Jade was her name, I'll remember her forever.”
It was March 1, 2020.
Five years on, Cora and Matt have welcomed their son Benjamin (3) and daughter Hope (1) and, although pregnancy was a very stressful time after what happened to Amelia, all went well.
“It’s been about processing it all again,” said Cora.
“It’s something we couldn’t do during lockdown. Everything went slower and much faster at the same time.”
She said that she was able to have valuable support at an early stage from another baby loss charity, Simba, but because of lockdown, her and her husband had each other and had to “muddle through” that time.
Then, last year, a friend recommended she got in touch with Held in Our Hearts,
“I was put in contact with Lindsay, who is my peer support, and she's been absolutely amazing. She's helped ground me a little bit this year, with just how I've been feeling coming up to Amelia's fifth birthday.
“She was due to start school this year, so I want to honour that, and maybe take a wee bit of the pressure away from the fact that I should have been dropping a five-year-old off to school but actually I am not.”
In her memory, Cora and Matt are organising a treasure hunt open to children of all ages and families.
“It will be pirate-themed, we're going to hide pirates around Nairn – and the pirates actually represent other still-born babies from parents I have met since I have had Amelia. I am hoping we might be able to share a bit about them too, to recognize them.
“Miscarriage and stillbirth are still such taboo subjects, although it's being more spoken about now, it's still something that a lot of people don't really want to talk about.
“But I love talking about her. Sometimes, as a bereaved parent, you really want to talk about your kids, all of them. But when you've got a loss, to don't want to bring it up. It's like finding the balance to still want to talk about them but not wanting to burden anybody else in a sense.”
Amelia's Treasure Quest — which is sponsored by Kinwell Pharmacy in Nairn — will take place over the school summer holidays from July 4, with the last day to complete the quest being August 19.
“You can come and do as you please. I didn't want to have it on one day, but for people to be able to come and do it in their own time.
“I also didn't want to be the centre of everything and be the host as much. I want it to be about Amelia, and in a sense also about her ‘friends’.
“With a lot of the parents that we've met since, we say that they're all little friends, and they're playing together…which is nice to know that they've kind of, you know, maybe got somebody else there.”
To take part the quest — whose winners will get a voucher of choice — people can pay the entry fee through the dedicated Just Giving page, with proceeds going to Held in Our Hearts, with treasure quest materials to be sent via email on July 3.
McDonald’s in Nairn, where Cora works, is also set to host a launch event for the initiative.
More information on how to take part and donate, can be found on Amelia's Treasure Quest group on Facebook or by contacting Cora at cora-leigh-04@hotmail.com.
Families who also had a stillborn baby, or a baby that passed away, and which them to be represented through one of the pirates, are also encouraged to get in touch.,
